i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
