i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
