Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize