If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
