My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
