I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
