is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The ass gains better be worth it
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