i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
