Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's the barista slut.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
