i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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