I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you would pick up someone in the library
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
