I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You're like the curious george of whores
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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