It was confusing and full of hummus
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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