It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
