so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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