Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need moral support for this bender
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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