I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
