So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
