so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
