I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
