If i come over, it means nothing
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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