A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
