OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
