when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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