probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
