I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
