girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
