i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
