How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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