apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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