Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
