I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
