is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
