The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
