I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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