I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
