What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
