just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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