I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize