no, he came in my armpit
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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