i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
