Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
