If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
