New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i drank out of a bidet.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.