do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.