i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?