I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.