You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
