Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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