Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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