I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
