Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
