do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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