shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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