Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize